I’m burnt out. I’m tired. I’ve had a very long week.
The lack of content speaks volumes to that. Starting this blog, I had an entire plan to write articles on a weekly basis, if not daily, to address mental health issues and ongoing concerns that caught my attention. I wanted to do everything! And in hindsight, it was very naive for me to think that it was possible. I fell into my own personal trap, despite spending most of my winter and spring months planning on how to avoid it.
I’m great at planning. It makes me happy. It does provide a certain sense of control (which I will self-reflect later when I had the headspace to do so) when things do get out of control or become very busy. I want to do more. But I’ve started to notice that no matter how well I plan, I cannot account for everything. I thought that by planning out articles in advance and attempting to “get ahead” of the eventual swell of the spring and all the chaos that it brings, I could handle anything.
Turns out, I could not.
Unsurprisingly, after Valentine’s Day, my caseload swelled. My hobbies took a back seat and self-care was done on a crisis-level basis. I thought I could handle it, the time it took for documentation, and maintain my relationships outside of work, and so on. I did not handle it well. I stopped functioning for a little bit. I collected stress, both real and imaginary, and I did not take care of myself. But things are slowing down a bit. I’m starting to be able to breathe a little bit better.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My journey as an LPC-A is slowly about to come to an end. I’ll be able to launch myself as a true professional therapist. I’m excited for the next step in my private and personal life.
